Ask Zoe

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Not many people have been a prostitute, a heroin addict, a madam, a mother, a wife, and a successful creative person and entrepreneur. Let’s just say Zoe is uniquely qualified to answer all your questions on relationships, life, love, and our pained human existence.

Ask her a question via the simple form at the bottom of the page (scroll all the way down), and read her answers and entries below. Please keep in mind that Zoe will try to get to all of your reasonable questions, but that she has a large volume of requests.

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Zoe's advice is intended for informational purposes only. Use of this page is not intended to replace or substitute for any medical or other professional advice. If you have specific concerns or a situation in which you require profession, psychological, or medical help, you should consult with an appropriately trained and qualified specialist.

Dear Zoe,

I’ve been having an affair with a married women who’s 30 years old I am 28. I try very hard to impress her. Last week I was able to make 158 strokes in 28 minutes of our intercourse. She came once, while I was able to orgasm 2 times. After resting for 24 minutes and having a drink, and taking a piss, she then performed oral on me for 3 minutes, roughly, and I came again after 4 minutes. However today after 230 strokes I only came once and she seemed disinterested in giving me oral. Im worried.

— Limp Bizkit

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Dear Bizkit,

My...

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Dear Zoe,

I am a forty-year-old man. Whenever I get an erection after masturbation I’ve found I can ejaculate the distance of twelve to fifteen feet. Is this normal? I feel quite proud.

— Proud In Iowa

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Dear Proud,

I’ve heard of distance but that’s championship level. Are you read to compete, professionally? You might want to contact the Olympics I believe they have a section of athletes who specialize in this particular goal.

— Zoe

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Dear Zoe,

I am so tired of women insisting on having an orgasm while engaging in sex. I just want to hop on and off roll over and sleep. Its too much work and I just can’t be bothered.

Is there any nice simple girl out there who’d be happy to lie there and let me do my thing and service my needs, and leave it alone at that? I’m not into hookers because they seem so indifferent to my feelings.

— Tired in Washington

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Dear Tired,

It took me all of a second to know the right way to respond to you. Go to your local sex shop and...

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Dear Zoe,

How do I ask my wife to perform oral sex on me… while I am dressed in my dead mothers underwear? It has been something I’ve thought about for months, since the passing of Mom. Do women find this arousing?

I have worn her underwear before. I now found wearing my mom's old underwear is so arousing I wear it everyday under my suit for work. Do I need help or is this a usual way of dealing with grief after losing one's parent?

— John

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Dear John,

I can’t answer for the entire female population but I personally wouldn’t find...

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Dear Zoe,

I'm a sixty-year-old Jewish male, married with older children. I own a kosher deli.

I’ve had a fantasy for many years that my wife probably wouldn’t be comfortable with, and it includes food. My question is, would a prostitute be offended if I was to wrap cold cuts around her toes and eat them off her feet? Is that just strange?

Thank you, Meyer

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Dear Meyer,

I think your question is a seriously good one. Lots of people enjoy cold cuts while having sex, and why not eat off a prostitute's feet? If that’s what you like to do,...

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Dear Zoe,

I have a girlfriend and we haven’t had sex yet; she’s a virgin and wants to wait, so I was wondering, if I was to be with my roommate, a male, would it be considered a homosexual act if I performed oral sex on him, and we are both blindfolded at the time?

Wondering, Brad

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Dear Brad,

To see or not to see that is the question?

This is a tough one. What the world doesn’t see doesn’t exist, right? I say you go ahead with your blindfolds, and have a real good time.

Best, Zoe

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Hi Zoe,

I can’t believe I’m writing to you; I’ve never done this before. I live in a small town in England. My mate turned me onto your stories in the book ‘Hos, Hookers, Call Girls, and Rent Boys’ and I’ve since read more of your stories. I’ve wanted your life and thought when I got clean, I'd be able to start writing and move to London. But everything has gone wrong. and I’m desperate. I’m twenty years old and HIV positive. My father is strict and doesn’t know I’m sick with the virus. I feel fine – I don’t feel sick. My mum died years ago when I was young. My doctors want me to go...

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Dear Zoe,

I used to come and see you read every month in NYC at The Bowery Poetry Club. You were a big influence on me and I have started writing. How did you start? I’m nervous because I am writing poetry about the sex industry and my past. How do you deal with people knowing you were a sex worker? My boyfriend would die. I just have kept everything a secret. I get so nervous when I go out to the mall or anywhere incase I run into one of my old clients or one of the women I worked with. How have you dealt with this and become so open?

—...

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Hi Zoe,

I wrote to you a month ago; my name is Marianne. I didn’t know if you really respond, or if someone else does for you. I have a problem. My stepfather has been coming into my room late at night and touching me. He hasn’t gone further than that but I’m terrified and I pretend to be asleep. He gets drunk and I’m scared. My mom won’t believe me, she’ll get real mad at me and kick me out. I have a little sister who I'm scared he's messin’ with…

— Marianne

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Dear Marianne,

I gather from your letter that you're young; probably in high...

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Hi Zoe,

You probably won't write back to me; I know you’re very busy. I love the way you look. I’ve seen your custom jeans on line and was wondering if I could order a pair. I live way upstate and don’t get into New York City too often. My friend told me you made her three t shirts. We can’t find anything like that up here. I've tried doing it myself, but I can’t sew.

— Sandy

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Dear Sandy,

Sure I will send you the info and what I do and what’s available at this time.

Thank you, Zoe

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Hi...

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Hi Zoe,

I’ve read a few of your stories and have been following you. I know you’re a mom. I have a daughter who’s three. I live with my grandma. My mom threw me out because I got pregnant. I’ve started doing dope again. My life is a mess and I want to die. I see no future for my daughter and me. She’d be better of with out me. I’ve been making my money working the street, the track. Its really dangerous and I was beaten up the other day, because I wont work with this pimp. I couldn’t go home because my grandmother would kick me out if she knew what I was doing.

I’m turning to...

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Dear Zoe,

I work as an escort and have been in the sex industry for ten years.

I met a man six months ago who I feel very serious about and we’ve talked about marriage. The problem is that he doesn’t know what I do. I told him I worked in a catering firm. He would leave me if he found out I sleep with men for money. The other problem is I don’t know what I could do to pay my bills if I was to quit working as an escort. I pay for a lot of our dinners and a vacation we took together because he doesn’t make that much money.

I’m constantly in a state of fear that he will find...

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