Wrapping Cold Cuts Around Her Toes?

Dear Zoe,

I'm a sixty-year-old Jewish male, married with older children. I own a kosher deli.

I’ve had a fantasy for many years that my wife probably wouldn’t be comfortable with, and it includes food. My question is, would a prostitute be offended if I was to wrap cold cuts around her toes and eat them off her feet? Is that just strange?

Thank you, Meyer

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Dear Meyer,

I think your question is a seriously good one. Lots of people enjoy cold cuts while having sex, and why not eat off a prostitute's feet? If that’s what you like to do, I say go for it.

Please make sure her feet have been cleaned first. Watch your salt intake; I’d hate for you to develop high cholesterol because of this new phase you are entering.

— Zoe

© 2017 Zoe L. Hansen. All rights reserved.